


Spurs

by thegirlnamedcove



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Endless cowboy jokes, Everyone Is Alive, Full Shift Werewolves, Funny, Knowing way too much about your family members' sexual proclivities, Laura Hale & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, M/M, Random hookups, Stiles lives in New York
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 15:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13274265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlnamedcove/pseuds/thegirlnamedcove
Summary: "My buddy is a werewolf, back in California, but I can’t exactly call him for this, and I’m not sure exactly how to deal with it myself,” he paused, clearly weighing up his phrasing, “I went to Flaming Saddles.”“The….what?”“It...it’s a...gay club. That’s not the point. It was Friday and I was out, and I picked someone up.”“Hold the fuck on, it’s a gay club with ‘saddle’ in the name?”“Yes,” his voice was small, “and you are not allowed to make fun of me.”





	Spurs

Not for the first time, Laura regretted her choice in ringtone.

The dulcet tones of  [ Megadeth ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwbBz59lIQo) woke her up at six in the morning, and she bolted from the covers, her heart pounding in her throat. She searched for the phone frantically, pulling the sheets from the mattress until it tumbled out and onto the ground and she could see Stiles’ shining face on the screen.

She scooped it up and answered, a headache already behind her eyes.

“What the fuck do you want, you demon?”

“Hey there, love you too. So I’ve got a situation.”

“It better be a six in the morning level situation,” she fell back onto the pillows and sighed.

“What?” he rustled and adjusted the phone before coming back, “Oh, shit it’s really early. Well, it’s still a big deal. I really, really, really need your help.”

“Spit it out then.”

“Okay,” he blew out a breath, “You know that thing we never talk about?”

She pulled back and looked at her phone in her hand.

“What?”

“You know, the...like, look, I don’t want you to feel unsafe or anything, but it’s hard not to notice when you’re in the know. I figured you knew that I knew and we just weren’t going to address it out loud, you know how friends do sometimes what with our unspoken understandings, and--”

“Stilinski.”

“You know how you’re a werewolf?”

Laura’s mouth fell open, a cold spike of fear twisting up in her chest alongside her confusion. They’d been working together for at least a year at the college bookstore, and spending time together socially for nine months of that. Despite the ten years between them, he was a good friend with a wicked sense of humor to match hers. But if there was one thing she would’ve bet money Stiles could never do it was keep a secret long term.

“Are you a hunter, then?” she hedged. Her alpha voice was easy to slip into, and wherever this was leading she needed to put up a strong front, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was wrong footed already.

“Oh my god, no! No, never.”

“A fox? One of the Montoya pack? If this is honesty hour, let’s move it along.”

Stiles sighed dramatically, and one side of her mouth quirked up into a smile without her permission.

“So, you know how you’re a werewolf? Well my buddy is one too, back in California, but I can’t exactly call him for this, and I’m not sure exactly how to deal with it myself,” he paused, clearly weighing up his phrasing, “I went to Flaming Saddles.”

“The….what?”

“It...it’s a...gay club. That’s not the point. It was Friday and I was out, and I picked someone up.”

“Hold the fuck on, it’s a gay club with ‘saddle’ in the name?”

“Yes,” his voice was small, “and you are not allowed to make fun of me.”

She huffed a laugh, and allowed herself to relax just a fraction.

“Well I find you much less threatening, knowing that, at least.”

“ _ Anyway _ , I met a guy there and took him home, and we had about the night you’d expect--”

“Did he wear spurs? Did he have a Stetson?”

“Shut up. But then I woke up this morning and there’s a wolf in my bed.”

Laura sat up at that, frowning.

“Like, I didn’t even know you guys could do this, my friend Scott certainly can’t. But I’m absolutely positive it’s not a normal wolf, for just...so many reasons. He’s sleeping, and snuffling like a puppy and it’s really hilarious, but also he’s massive and I’m pretty sure he’s going to break my crappy Ikea bed if I let him stay too long and I just...help!”

“Oh my god.”

“What? What does that mean?”

Laura groaned, “Oh my goood.”

“Laura, I will feed you your entrails, you are being a horrific alpha substitute right now. What do I do? Why didn’t he tell me he was a wolf? Do you think he’s safe? Do you know him?”

“Yeah,” she scrubbed a hand over her face and smoothed her hair back, “I know him. Hold the fort, my lovely not-beta, I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes.”

 

***

 

Stiles’ apartment was in a converted brownstone above a fortune teller’s, and it constantly smelled like pot. Laura had made fun of him for it, many times, but it made for a nice respite away from her constantly surly brother, and she’d spent enough time here to know the key code for the side door. In the hallway, Miss Rosita nodded at her, her usual witchy work outfit traded for pajama pants covered in emojis.

Her theory was all but confirmed when the door to the elevator opened on the third floor and she got a lungful of the scent, but she tried to reserve judgement while she knocked on 3B and waited.

Stiles swung the door open and his face lit up with relief.

“Oh, thank god. I am so hungover my teeth are buzzing. I cannot deal with surprise wolves on my own right now.”

“Thought you said we were easy to spot,” she smirked. He stepped back out of her way and she strode in towards the back bedroom.

“I say a lot of things. Plus, noticing that someone takes the day after the full moon off work every month is way easier than spotting someone in a bar when he’s all…” he coughed and cleared his throat, “dressed up.”

She hummed in assent, then got her phone out and opened the camera function. In one smooth motion she opened the bedroom door, snapped a photo, and called Derek’s name with just enough alpha influence in her voice to wake him up.

The results were spectacular. A full bodied black wolf with blazing blue eyes, scrambling for purchase on a rickety queen size bed, with a hat hanging off the headboard and four cowboy boots in a pile on the floor. Later, when she blew it up to hang on Derek’s wall, she’d even notice an incredibly realistic looking sheriff’s badge peeking out from under the blankets.

“Laura!” he growled, shifting back into his human skin except for the teeth. She snorted at the pitiful display and nodded over her shoulder.

“Hey baby bro. Heard you saved a horse. Rode a cowboy.”

“Oh my  _ god _ .”

 

***

 

The next shift at the bookstore was a lot of fun. She didn’t want to kinkshame, nor did she want to make Stiles’ private life public, but all the same every copy of Black Beauty and John Wayne’s autobiography made their way from the storeroom to Stiles’ desk by the time he clocked in at eight.

The most he did in response was glare at her, which was disappointing, although she was pretty sure he actually started reading Brokeback Mountain during his lunch break. It had a clearance sticker, too, and she wondered if he’d be brave enough to buy it.

An hour before closing he finally broke the awkward silence.

“So...in the interest of not sleeping with any more of your betas, I feel like you should maybe just introduce me to all of them.”

He didn’t look up from where he was checking inventory at the computer, but when she glanced over she could see a blush creeping up the back of his neck, and wasn’t that just precious?

“I don’t think that’s a concern. None of them are your  _ type _ .”

He clucked his tongue, and kept his gaze on the screen, “Did you know Derek owns a bridle?”

She spun in her office chair so quickly it almost tipped over and onto the floor, gaping at the back of her friend’s head.

“He  _ what _ ?!”

“Metal, fits in the mouth, attaches to a reign which can be used to direct the head of a horse as you ride it. He does, and I’d like you to briefly consider how I know that he does, and then consider that maybe, possibly, your alpha powers don’t tell you every little thing about a person. Especially what kind of freaky business they might be up to, and that I might also be on board for.”

There was a long silence while her brain came back online, and she was treated to a few horrifying mental images as she processed everything Stiles said, and then Laura turned back to her own desk, fighting a rare blush of her own, and said:

“Pack dinner is in two days, at five thirty.”

Stiles snorted.

 

***

 

“I know you three idiots like the back of my hand, and I know you’re all just dying to embarrass me the second Stiles shows up, so once again, with feeling. What will we  _ not do _ ?”

Isaac, Erica, and Boyd milled around the small kitchen, largely ignoring their alpha as they finished plating the food and competed to steal bites from one another as they went. Erica turned towards Laura where she had leaned against the fridge and shooed her out of the way before responding.

“Don’t undermine your authority. Don’t intimidate Derek’s gentleman caller. Don’t flirt with Derek’s gentleman caller.”

She pulled the eggs out of the fridge and smiled sharply.

“I don’t see why that third one is even on there. Does the sun shine out this guy’s dick?” Isaac asked.

Laura sighed, “The universe likes to play tricks on me and I do not trust this to chance.”

There was a knock on the front door and Derek ambled past the kitchen to answer it.

Laura trained her ears on the hallway but she couldn’t pick up much more than the creak of the front door’s unoiled hinge and a few soft murmurs between the two, and then her brother was back, his new conquest trailing behind him, their fingers laced together.

“Hey, guys, this is Stiles,” he said, and the wolves turned toward him like he’d only just materialized, Erica even startling a little for effect

The man in question rolled his eyes and offered a half-hearted wave.

“You don’t have to put up a front for the human, I know you could probably hear me freaking out in my apartment four blocks over.”

Erica dropped the act, as instructed, and melted into her usual fear/seduction combo platter that she trotted out for new people.

“And why were you freaking out?”

“Because Laura’s my friend, Derek’s my boo, and you people have a disgusting amount of sway over their opinions of me.”

Derek scowled, “I told you not to call me ‘boo’.”

“That you did, sugar butt.”

Laura giggle snorted and stiffled it behind the back of her fist.

“Just…” Derek sighed and looked to the ceiling, “Boyfriend. Is fine.”

And well...boyfriend was certainly a step up from the other night.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I want, so deeply and sincerely, for this to be a full story. With character arcs, and a satisfying plot, and more opportunities for cowboy jokes. But I've been trying for literally months and this is as far into it as I can get. And I refuse to just let the cowboy jokes I already wrote languish in a google docs file. So...here you go. It sort of has an ending. Kind of. I dunno. I tagged it crack, and therefore no one can criticize me. danielradcliffe.jpg
> 
> If you're interested, Flaming Saddles is a real place in New York city, where people really dress up like John Wayne, in the middle of Hell's Kitchen of all places, where Daredevil lives of all fucking things. It's ridiculous. I couldn't not write this.


End file.
